Let me tell you
how to have
a British holiday.
It should rain
every day.
Forget your umbrella
though,
and leave the car window
open overnight,
so the pages of the map
stick together.
Maybe the sun
will appear
for a moment or two.
That’s your cue
to don the shorts,
flip-flops,
sunglasses,
before it gets
swallowed again
by grey.
That’s when you
return to your
newspaper
in your damp
holiday cottage,
and listen to the
drip, drip, drip
of the leaking tap
and the rain.
But British holidays are still the best kind of holidays.
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